sleep

in the bus on my way home
after trying to convince you
to sleep to rest
and thinking i had succeeded
i closed my eyes to think of you
lying in bed with your teddy
and dream of you lying in bed
beside me
holding you
being held by you -
the strange familarity
and unsettling ease -
over and over again in my mind ...

wake me up when you get here

but now
just let me dream of you

awake

coming home in the night
i always check the time display
on my cellphone
(always mentally adding 5 hours)
wondering if it's too late to text you
(it's 05:31 now: you'll wake in 90 minutes
 or so - maybe i should stay up
 'til you awake?)

i want to tell you how
earlier this evening
you were everywhere
blatant in my thoughts
hidden in everything
i talked about
(our friends, they didn't notice)

now it's 05:57
i wonder if it's still too early
to text you
(you'll wake in a little over 60 minutes -
 maybe i could stay up 'til you awake?)

there's a bruise on the inside
of my elbow from giving up
7 cc of blood
it's been growing
still is growing

i'm nodding off
to your voice
20 seconds of voicemail
played on loop
so many 'bye's
so many 'bye's

refrain

hold on to me
your pleading refrain
your feet moving to the rhythm
don't let him touch me

... touch me ... touch me ...
             touch me
hold on to me
      don't let him ...

just be nimble
just be quick
just dance away
from the pervy prick

hold on to me
i'm your anchor
to moor your boat
your buoyant float
i'll keep you afloat
hold on to me

... to me ... to me ...
             to me
      don't let him ...

shall we dance
            - i could've danced all night -
shall we dance
            - i could've danced danced danced
                all night

don't let him touch me
i'm your lotus
in the mud of his rapaciousness
growing in muck but
pure and untouched
don't let him touch me

... touch me ... touch me ...
             touch me
hold on to me
      don't let him ...

i'll refrain the refrain
if you come with me
when you dance with me
kiss no one but me

i'll refrain the refrain
if you should ask of me
what you want of me
when you long for me

i'll refrain the refrain
if you stay with me
and be with me
and all night long you
hold on to me
don't let him touch me

naked instrument

i sit
in the embrace of the music
you are creating
watching your fingers pluck
glide and vibrate
                                       and i am naked
      the instrument
                  in your arms
                              your fingers
                                          alternating between
      teasing lightness and
                  electrifying intensity
                              strum me
                                          make me sing
i lie across your lap
my body cradled in your arms
every fiber perfectly tuned
to even the most fleeting
      of contact
                  quivering to the feel
                              of your fingers
                                          (touch me)
the lower they slide
the higher my notes

things in life

i had a crush
before i even knew what
a 'crush' was

things in life
- experienced, done -
sometimes (often)
before the awareness
of its name
its meaning
could transpire

maybe one night i'll fall asleep
and realize i've been dreaming all along

maybe one day i'll wake up
and realize i'm alive after all

1 A.M. after Ink

chain of fools - do you realize that's what
we were?
we are!
(i hope you are dancing to it
right now)
oh the drilling, the drilling -
but it was good before, wasn't it?

sure, it's no matterhorn,
but we're not in Welly anymore,
Jensy.

we need go back to Ink, sweets,
we do.
sample the entire
menu of martinis.
(you liked your 3-Some, dincha?)

(can i have your cherry -
  heh heh heh!)
it's not sexual harrassment
if you gave me your cherry anyway!
no double-standards!

Harvey Wallbanger, Bend Me Over!
what was it you said -
"Bend Me Over - spank me good" (?)
would you really rather focus
on the spanking?

(boyhood fantasy of owning a power drill)
now, that's the way to bang a wall,
sweets!
that's why
they call it a power-drill!

mm-mmhmmm.

next time we'll request 'Chain of Fools'
again.
next time.

happy birthday, sweets!